Children, despite trying to hide their true feelings, suffer when they are fat. Some children successfully overcome negative feelings and handle their obesity in childhood, but they are a small minority who have overcome their negative attitude while remaining overweight.
Depression, anxiety, feelings of emptiness, low self-esteem and fear of rejection are common among overweight children. Such symptoms often intensify overeating and a vicious cycle develops.
Is compulsive overeating an addiction similar to addiction to alcohol, hard drugs and tobacco? There are similarities in its ability to increase pleasure in part by stimulating the pleasure centers of the brain. It is important to understand what impact this has on a child's ability to diet and gain weight control. Certainly anything that is repeated enough will initially become a habit. Over time, if repeated sufficiently, it acts like an addiction.
Although children follow similar patterns as adults there are some distinctive differences. Children are apt to mimic overweight parents. They use overeating to punish parents, or to overcome feeling depressed, anxious, unloved or rejected. A connection between food filling an empty stomach and improvement in mood is established. The next time it occurs and food again rewards the eater a pattern has started. It doesn't take long to establish a belief that food counters painful symptoms and compulsive eating begins. Once that belief becomes engrained to all intents that child has become an eating addict.
Like any addiction it will require motivation, persistence and a strong belief in wanting to overcome compulsive eating. Even for adults this task can be formidable. Most diets work for a while but not for long because the overeater has not changed his essential attitude about eating. Here is where the parents input is essential. They must guide, reassure the child as it pursues weight control. Above all it must make certain that there are no obstacles in the child following a reasonable diet.
Overweight children must overcome the belief that being overweight is an antidote to unhappiness, feeling unloved and overcoming emptiness. A child must learn that eating should be enjoyed but the essential reason to eat is to maintain health.
Instead of more pyramids, diet programs and conflicts about selecting the best diet, the emphasis must be on changing the beliefs that children have. They don't need to hear the theory of dieting, rather the emphasis is on that they are loved and helping overcome compulsive eating is healthy and should make them feel good.
Although love is the primary element in guiding them, the child should not believe that the failure to lose weight leads to not being loved. The belief that food is love or you eat because it makes you feel good or you eat because you love food needs to be changed. In its place good health must be primary and the pleasures in eating become secondary in your beliefs.
Every overweight child can learn to lose weight but the effort must start with his deep desire to become healthy and weight loss is one of the elements to make that happen. Children want to lose weight and look better. They will become happier and more self-directed as this control develops.
By Marvin H. Berenson, M.D.
November 17, 2011
My book "The Psychiatrist's Diet" contains an easy-to-use diet plan that is effective, doesn't require any special foods and works for any age. The diet is easily explained to children. The mental imagery exercises that can enhance weight control are often seen as fun games by many children who try them as part of their diet.
Visit http://www.drmarvinberenson.com/ to review "The Psychiatrist's Diet" and sign-up to receive Dr. Berenson's highly informative biweekly newsletter and two FREE gifts.
Marvin H. Berenson, M.D. is Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry, USC Keck School of Medicine, psychiatrist, lecturer, author and artist.
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